Karaoke Dance Party! Nephilim Style!
by JetAndKaiki
Summary: What happens when two crazy writers bring together their favorite characters of Cassandra Clare's hit books and makes them sing Karaoke...? This is. ((Warning, rated T for adult themes and mild language.)) ((This is a crack story, so don't judge to hard! It's just for laughs!))


In walks a large, fat, green ogre with a microphone. "Hi, everyone," he says in a Scottish accent, "And welcome to Shrek's Karaoke Dance Party!"

"No!"

Two tall girls, one with a short blonde bob and the other with shoulder-length blonde hair, run in screaming and tackle the ogre. "No!" The tallest girl, JC, shouts, slapping Shrek's hand. "This is not your Karaoke Dance Party! This is _my—"_ After a glare from her younger sister, KC, JC corrects, "—_our_ Karaoke Dance Party!"

"Yeah!" KC chimes in before snapping her fingers, making Shrek disappear.

"It looks like you've finally mastered the _poofing, _Master KC," a tall, silver-haired man says in his sweet voice, smiling creepily.

"Gin..." JC sighs. "I'm sorry, and you know I love you, but this doesn't involve _Bleach."_

"Shocker," KC mutters, then "Ouch!" when her sister punches her in the arm.

"If you would kindly go wait in the backroom, I would really appreaciate it," JC said, grinning up at her favorite captain. "I have taken the liberty of bringing Rangiku back there, and I think she said something about skinny-dipping and a hot-tub... Gin? Where'd ya go?!"

"He left before you finished saying skinny-dipping..." KC said, pointing.

"I didn't even get a hug..." JC pouts and droops as her sister softly pats her back. "ANYWAY!" JC shouts, startling KC. "It's kinda good he left, 'cause we have special guests today! Everyone, please welcome the main cast of the _Mortal Instruments _and the _Infernal Devices _books by Cassandra Clare!"

JC and KC snap, turning the lights on in the dark room to reveal a large stage with four teenage boys sitting in front of/holding various instruments, with a violin leaning up against a keyboard piano. The drummer grins and winks at the nonexistent crowd, with the others following his lead.

"With our special guests, _Sexy Vampire Mojo!" _KC shouts out, having a fan-girl melt-down.

Taking on a weird annoucer voice, JC says, "Now... for our singers! From the _Mortal Instruments_, we have... Clary Fray, Jace Wayland/Herondale/Lightwood, Isabell and Alec Lightwood, and the High Warlock of Brooklyn, Magnus Bane!"

The aforementioned people wander into the room, all but Magnus looking confused.

KC, dancing weirdly, "_Sexy Vampire Mojo... Sexy Vampire Mojo..."_

Clary makes Jace raise his eyebrow at Simon, who looks away sheepishly. "Really?" Clary says sarcastically. "You went with _Sexy Vampire Mojo_?"

KC, "DON'T JUDGE! Simon, you position, please!" She smiles sweetly.

Simon salutes the second Creator. "YES MA'AM!" he shouts before running to take his spot next to Jordan.

JC, mad that she was interrupted, throws her shoe at Jace before he can make a snarky comment. "Now, as I was _saaaaaaaaayin'," _she shoots a glare at the group. "The _Infernal Devices _characters... William Herondale—Shut up Alec—Tessa Gray, and James 'Jem' Carstairs! Oh, and Magnus Bane," she tacks on to the end.

A hand shoots up in the crowd, owned by a tall man with sparkly black hair. "I'm already here, my dear pupil!" the High Warlock of Brooklyn states.

"That is a good point, Master Bane," JC starts, before being interrupted by KC.

"IT'S THE 19th CENTURY VERSION OF YOU!"

"Oh. Okay, then! There's more of me to go around!" Magnus grins and winks at Alec.

"Yes, yes." JC impaitently waves her hand. "I assume you all signed the waivers Ichimaru-san handed out, and that Clary has put her new rune on you all?" Once everyone had nodded, JC continued, "The waivers just say we are not liable for any injury you may have during the filming, that we can film you whenever and where-ever we want, and that Cassandra Clare owns you, not us. And before the show, I had Clary—" JC points out the tiny red-head. "—create a new rune that allows all of you know whatever songs I see fit. Any questions?"

Simon raises his hand before saying, "And this won't harm the Downworlders?"

KC grins. "Nope! And if it does, you can't blame us!" She then laughs evilly, before cutting off when her sister punches her.

"Nope," JC repeates, then points at Alec when he raises his hand. "Yes?" Alec walks up to JC and whispers in her ear. "Yes, it is the same man, and _no! _You absolutly cannot kill my Will!"

Tessa and Jem glance at Will, who looks confused. "Why would that man hate me?" he asks in his crisp British accent.

"That is a good question, Will," Jem agrees, also in a British accent. "He could be you brother, you two look so alike..."

"JC AND I HAVE A HYPOTHESIS ABOUT THAT!" KC shouts, pointing at Jem.

"We believe that Cecily Herondale will marry Gabriel Lightwood, thus giving future Lightwoods—" JC points and Isabell and Alec. "—the Herondale's dashing Welsh looks." JC grins.

Will scoffs. "Like my sister would marry that bloody Lightwood."

"Wait, wait, wait." Jace says, looking confused. "Okay. So Mr. British-Dude is a Herondale... And looks like Alec... Not me. But I'm also Herondale... But I don't look like Mr. British-Dude. I'm confused."

"That's nothing new," Simon says before JC's other shoe hits him square in the face.

"Shut up, Vampire!" JC shouts, before explaining to the confused _MI _people. "I am not from your world, and thus I am immune to his Mark. Meaning, I'm not a demon, but I read about you. Like a book!" She grins at everyone, then nods at her sister. "KC, the floor is yours."

"YAY!" She quickly flung her arm in the air. "My hypothesis about that is, somewhere along the line someone with light-colored features married into the Herondales, thus giving you your looks! Or it could be your blood... One or the other!" She giggles.

"Yes. Now," JC pauses and snaps her fingers, a stack of papers appears in her hand. "Here is the schedule, with a list of the people who will be watching the premire of the show, and the judges."

JC and KC hand out the papers. Soon, at the exact same time, two hands shoot in the air. Also in sync, Alec and Simon shout, "Can I kill Camille?"

"Nope!" JC says sweetly. "Izzy, honey, you're up!"

"Singing 'What the Hell' by Avril Lavigne... we have Isabell Lightwood!" Jordan says in an annoucer voice before moving off the stage.

JC snaps, and all but the stage lights are off. Izzy is somehow up on the stage, flanked by the Magnus's in skimpy-80s dresses that sparkle in the light.

"You—say that I'm messin' with your head! (Yeah-yeah, yeah-yeah!) All—'cause I was makin' out with your friend... (Yeah-yeah, yeah-yeah) Love—hurts, whether it's right or wrong! (Yeah-yeah, yeah-yeah!) I can't—stop 'cause I'm having too much fun! (Yeah-yeah, yeah-yeah!) You're on your knees—beggin' 'Please stay with me!' But honesty—I need to be—a little crazy!

"All my life I've been good, but now

I-ah-ah-ah'm thinkin', what the hell?

All I want is to mess around,

and I-ah-ah don't really care about

"If you love me,

If you hate me!

You can't save me

Baby, baby!

"All my life I've been good, but now

Whoa-ah-ah-ah-oh, what the hell?

"What? What? Yeah, what the hell!

"So—what if I go out on a million dates?

(Yeah-yeah, yeah-yeah!)

You never—call, or listen to me anyway.

(Yeah-yeah, yeah-yeah!)

"I'd rather—rage, than sit around and wait all day!

Don't get—me wrong, I just need some time to play, yay!

"You're on—your knees,

Beggin' 'Please stay with me!'

(La-la la la!)

But honestly—I just need to be a little crazy!

"All my life I've been good, but now

I-ah-ah-ah'm thinkin', what the hell?

All I want is to mess around,

and I don't really care about

"If you love me,

If you hate me!

You can't save me

Baby, baby!

"All my life I've been good, but now

Whoa-ah-ah-ah-oh, what the hell?

"La-la-la

Lala-la

La-la

Whoa-oh, whoa-oh

"La-la-la

Lala-la

La-la

Whoa-oh, whoa-oh

"You—say that I'm messin' with your head.

Boy, I like messin' in your bed.

Yeah, I ain't messin' with your head,

When I'm messin' with you in bed!

"All my life I've been good, but now

I-ah-ah-ah'm thinkin', what the hell?

(What the hell)

All I want is to mess around,

and I-ah-ah don't really care about

(I don't care about)

"All my life I've been good, but now

I-ah-ah-ah'm thinkin', what the hell?

All I want is to mess around,

and I-ah-ah don't really care about

(If you love me)

If you love me

(Love)

If you hate me

(No)

You can't save me,

Baby baby!

"(If you love me!)

All my life I've been good, but now,

Whoa-ah-ah-oh, what the hell?

"La-la

Lalalala-la-la

Lalala-la!"

Izzy finished her song and everyone started cheering. JC and KC grinned at Jace and Clary, cueing the two to run onstage. Jace took up his position at the keyboard, and Jordan handed Clary another mike after saying, "Clary and Izzy singing Lady Gaga's 'Poker Face'!"

Before anyone can start, though, Gin runs onstage shouting, "YOU LIED! RANGIKU ISN'T SKINNY-DIPPING! SHE STILL HAS CLOTHES ON!"

JC pales and quickly runs away as Gin pulls out his zanpakutou, "Skewer her, _Shinso!" _

KC giggles as she hears a pained shout from her sister and says, "I guess that's our cue that this is the end of the episode! Goodbye, everyone!" She skips off after Gin, shouting at him to "get her!" Before she leaves, KC snaps and plunges the room into darkness.

After a minute, Will comments, "I do believe they have forgotten us..."

Jace adds, "What are we supposed to do until they come back?"

"I don't know about _you," _the Magnus's say together, "But _we're _going to take advantage of this darkness!"

Everyone hears some shuffling, then Alec saying, "What do you two think you're do—Wait, there's people—C'mon—oh—I—guess... I don't—mind..."

Everyone plugged their ears when they heard the clothes being taken off.


End file.
